So, I'm pretty tired. I feel that life is so unfair, and to be quite honest, I'm sick.of it. All I want to do is to be a successful artist and paint everyday. But, I have this mental block every day, that stops me from painting or from seeing people, or from doing anything productive.
I want to see my dad more often but this man who lives near him, scared me away. I wanted to see my sister and her boys when they were here, but I couldn't. I can't do most things that I want to do. The only thing that really helps is walking, and I'm so scared that I don't really want to go out anymore.
It's very depressing to have to experience this. I should be having a great time. My plan had always been to go to university, and then to get a good job, like my sister. But, things don't always work out the way you want them. I had to leave college at 17, because of a medical condition, called TMAU. It ruined my life, it made me stink. The other students didn't like me very much and one of the tutors picked on me, and it got to the point where people would say, ' It stinks like shit in here' everytime that I walked into the room. And people refused to work with me. All, while this was going on, I was getting hit around at home and shouted at on a daily basis. My worst memory for a long time was being hit with a stick. Being dragged across the floor by my hair, and then sat on top of and punched.