I've decided that I'm not going to listen to other people. To see what I mean by this, keep reading. Sometimes people's opinions and their own negative behaviours and their limitations drown out what I am capable of. What I fully believe to be true and meaningful. Sometimes its like we take on everyone else's opinions instead of fully listening to our own. Don't get me wrong, people are great, and I want to be around them as much as possible but I don't want to be caught up in their priorities. Sometimes we spend so much time searching for things outside ourselves, like a deeper meaning when all we have to do is look inward. I've been reading books about creativity, the cosmos and everything in between. But sometimes, the authors just go off on a tangent that doesn't make any logical sense. At least it doesn't to me. And thats whats important. Its particularly important for me to remain grounded. And sometimes I find my own inner voice being drowned out by things that simply don't matter. I'm an egotistical person in the sense that I'm an artist. I care about my work and what I want to say. I'm not just centred on this, I care about other people and the state of things. But theres a line, and sometimes I find that I get so caught up in what other people are thinking that I forget myself.
This is where art helps me, because its a place where I feel like I can fully be myself. I can be at ease with with anything I'm uncomfortable about. And everyday worries just slide away. I can get lost in a painting or an artwork and not need to worry anymore. I wish I would stick to what I think is important rather than being sidetracked and thinking about other people. I don't know if everyone will go along with me on this, as its quite deep and may not make alot of sense, but its what I'm feeling right now. And that to me is important. I'm fed up of feeling confused about other people and their behaviours when its me I want to focus on, not them.