I’ve been writing a lot of poetry lately, and it concerns how people most notably my family have treated me in the past. I think it needs to be said. I found out recently that none of this abuse was on my medical record, which I think is fucking terrible really. I mean I have psychosis and did no one ever wonder as to why? I used to get hit around and O used to hide my bruises. i used to protect the aggressors! And the person who did this said she would call the police on me for blocking her punches. She had bruises on her arm and would show them to me and say, “Katy, if your not careful I’ll call the police on you and there send you away.” And the truly disgusting thing about this is when I was ill, my family member said I hit her when all I did was tap the chair, and she called the police! And they put my arm behind my back in an aggressive way and sat on me! So, you see the real aggressors never get there just desert. How unfair is that? After years +and years of continuous abuse I get arrested. And I protected the abuser. Well thats just a pile of crap to be quite honest. OH and this ‘abuser’ keeps dogs in cages for up to 15 hours a day and shouts and abuses someone who she is supposed to be caring for.
Oh and by the way I have never retaliated and I am treated like the criminal. Well isn’t that lovely? I remember once one member of my family ‘put’ her nails into my face and I had marks on my forehead, and she broke my glasses, and I didn’t have any money to get some new ones. Once someone in my family dragged me by my hair then sat on top of me and pommeled me, over and over again. I also had shoes thrown at me, wooden ones. I saw one of my family members smash his head through the front door, and also seen him with his wrists slit in a chair. i was also threatened with sexual assault when one member of my family confessed to another casually, “That he was thinking of raping women.” At the same time this ‘man’ was saying perverted things to me on a daily basis and basically kept me prisoner in a room for 5 years. Anytime I would come downstairs he would say something vile, whilst smoking skunk and drinking lager. And this ‘family member’ said to my face that he wanted to murder me and dump my dead body in a lake. And he said, “I wouldn’t even know though.” And I told someone in my family, also another abuser and she said all men were like that and that there wasn’t a problem. I stayed in a room for 5 years in a house of pure hell. One reason was because I had TMAU, and I’m diagnosed with this, and every time I went out people would say or imply I smelt like shit and feces. And btw that is not a psychological disorder, its very real, and i lost a lot of friends because of it. So thats great really isn’t it. A snap shot of a tiny period of my life. And btw since I’ve lost weight that person who said he wanted to rape women is now acting perverted on some occasions., flexing his muscles, btw *hidden name* thats incest. Asshole. Oh and btw all these people who did this to me have NEVER been reprimanded and all of them except my father are to blame, because at some point in my life they have all treated me like utter shit.
Sorry, but I’m fed up of it.